Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
