no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
What a dumb baby whore.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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