Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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