so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
please don't ironically join a cult
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