i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
