i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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