Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
