i jhust puked up my retainher.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
