God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
