We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
id be glad to
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
