Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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