If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Enjoy the penises
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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