Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i think im in europe. pls send help
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
