dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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