I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
