Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I got chris browned last night
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
