it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
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