Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
