I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i now understand why vodka
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
