The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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