Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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