yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Less talking, more tequila
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
