Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
