Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
