remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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