He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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