She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize