oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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