Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize