I want to walk on stilts...naked
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
