come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
