That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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