why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
