watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
