I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
