Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
