I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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