i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
