Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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