on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
