A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Drake has all the answers
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
