I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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