You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
