how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
