ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
