went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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