Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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