Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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