last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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