hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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