She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
