yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
