i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
