dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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