Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
