So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
