He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
