R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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