I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
